Dressing for Success: How Clothes Can Boost Your Child’s Confidence at School

In the arena of the early morning rush, the battle over what to wear to school can often take center stage. While it may seem like a minor detail in the grand scheme of things, what your child wears can have a significant impact on their day. It's not just about adhering to dress codes or weather appropriateness, but about fostering their sense of self, their confidence, and their comfort in their own skin.

The right outfit can act as an armor against self-doubt and a passport to self-expression, making dressing for school less about the daily hustle and more about shaping their self-esteem.  

We asked Bernice Joo, Ph.D., a Clinical Psychologist, for some insights and advice and received heartfelt responses that were interesting and inspiring. We also earned that we all have early morning challenges, no matter our level of parenting or academic expertise!

Psychologist and Mom Shares Her View on the Power of Clothing Choices

Joo says that it’s no secret that what we wear can have a significant impact on our confidence, self-expression, and overall mood, and this is no different for children. As a Clinical Psychologist and a mom of three, she shares that she’s had a fair share of morning madness trying to get her children dressed and ready for school.

Unique Child = Different Challenge

Each child, with their unique personality and preferences, presents a different dressing challenge. And these experiences have taught her that clothes can play a crucial role in fostering a child's autonomy, boosting their confidence, and easing morning routines.

The Importance of Being Prepared

Many mornings in the family’s household have been consumed by dressing debates, largely because Joo said she wasn't prepared. So, her first tip to parents is to plan ahead. Ensure that their favorite clothes are washed and ready, especially if they have a particular outfit they are attached to. “You can also try laying out their clothes the night before, although be prepared for a potential change of heart in the morning,” she says. Offering your child a few clothing options can also work wonders; it allows them a sense of choice while still ensuring their outfit is appropriate.

A more collaborative approach can involve a compromise: your child picks one piece, and you pick the other. And sometimes, it's best to just let them choose and learn to lose the battle gracefully.

Be Flexible in Finding What Works Best for Your Family

As for whether kids should pick their own clothes, there is no one-size-fits-all answer. It depends on their age, their personality, and their willingness. She explains, “I've observed that my three-year-old loves making her clothing choices, my six-year-old prefers I do it, and my nine-year-old with ADHD and anxiety wants to be involved but can often feel overwhelmed by the decision-making. My advice is to let your children make their own choices whenever they are willing, and the options are suitable.”

Autonomy Boost Confidence

This autonomy over what they wear can bolster their self-esteem, their sense of independence, and their decision-making skills. And in case they pick an outfit that grates against your fashion sensibilities, positive reinforcement can work wonders! Compliment their choice and gently suggest an alternative, making sure to explain why you think it might also work.

The key is to make dressing a collaborative, confidence-boosting activity that prepares them for the day ahead, rather than a morning battlefield. And remember, it's okay to lose some battles along the way - that's part of growing up, for both the kids and us parents!